break

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so let me break again and again on the rocks

so long i let other peoples’ words define me

tell me to be scared of opening

spread eagled

being flayed

being wrong

again and again

am i to learn right from wrong

from your twisted words when even they

fling me against the rocks

flay me

spread eagled

open me without consent

violated

i am ready

for opening

on my terms

for surrender to this ocean of experience

becasue that’s all we are

all we can do

is experience

so why do so

with anyone else’s words

let me break open again and again on the rocks

because I long to feel again

flayed

spread-eagled

open

on my own terms


snakke

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a snake is very slowly squeezing its midsection around my neck

so slowly you almost notice nothing

but slowly and surely, you lose your breath, its pathway winking closed, constricting and the muscles of your neck crushed by the force give way to the crushing of your neck itself

You are afraid to acknowledge the pain for you fear it would consume you

and consume you it easily could

the antelounge

Sophi NielsenLeave a comment

1/24/17

The table in the antelounge is always cluttered. Things just accumulate there: a prolific amount of origami flowers, a strange shape cut from solid steel that looks so important it hasn’t been moved in years, a tape measure that seems to belong to everyone.

People accumulate here too: people muttering over computers. TA’s waiting to be asked for help or hoping for a moment to breathe when it seems everyone’s code is throwing errors, picklocks asking to be handcuffed anywhere, boasting that they’ll get out in 10 minutes, fire spinners waiting until midnight to practice in the dark.

We passed through here when we were “going on an adventure” as you so wanly put it. When you told us to wear dark clothes and bring flashlights. We were looking for the one place on campus where only two people had been before, remember? We found the boiler room, left unlocked by accident where they kept the plans for the school, maps and proposals, things we probably weren’t supposed to see. Because we weren’t supposed to be there, that’s what Jamie, the surprised head of maintenance told us anyway.

You never found the secret location, roaming around with smart things to say as I followed and said nothing. I found it later in my own quiet way of overhearing, but I didn’t tell you. It had something to do with how I could never make an impression on you. But it’s okay because people accumulate here. All types. And none of them normal.