introject 1
landmark 3
Mystic and Mystic alone understood the soul of the theater. It is commonly believed that people have souls, maybe animals as well, especially dogs, but places have souls as well, souls that are often richer and more varied than the soul of any single living being. Because these souls have histories that long outlive the beings that inhabit or pass through them. Only Mystic could begin to understand how, when the rest of the world had imploded so suddenly, the Landmark independent theater continued to survive.
landmark 2
Switch and Fix watched the toxic smoke curl towards them as they sat on the steps of the Landmark. Silently, Fix reached for the pack of cigarettes in his shirt pocket. Switch played with her knife, idly flicking it out and snapping it back in again.
“you know,” Switch said, looking into the smoke, not at Fix, “you’ll run out of those eventually.”
Fix shurgged
“and when I do, I’ll quit.”
“Touche,” Switch laughed.
max 1
10-28-22
Don’t kiss me like we’re in a movie
Because I know that movies end
anonymous
10-22-22
you left that night with another girl and I didn’t know how I felt
Because I didn’t know how much I wanted you
But I wanted you still
NPA theme: not ridding yourself of something that scares you, but understanding it
Fuck, am I too much?
…I admire your passion…when you believe in something, you believe in it. Your words mean something because every ounce of your will is behind them.
…I like your passion, like, when you believe in something, you believe in it. Your words actually mean something because, it’s like, all your willpower is behind them.
deafening
11-03-22
You didn’t tell your therapist the full story
11-04-22
You can always cut me down with your words
There, your victory is assured
11-06-22
Last night I had a dream about you
Do you dream of me too?
Your silence is deafening
but it’s my favorite sound
jesse 2
12/19/2022
We sow seeds. Some of them grow, some don’t. Some bloom into flowers, beautiful but impermanent. And some sprout into sturdy, solid trees, meant to last for decades.
I want to have lazy Sunday plans, roll out of bed with someone and then decide what to do together. Only worried about about what time the movie is or how long the brunch line.
I want to cry in a movie with someone I love.
women talking 2
We think of ourselves, our goals, as climbing mountains. The fallacy of this is there are always taller mountains to climb, we must always keep moving. Our progress, then, is more like the ocean, or any body of water, in its constant movement slowly but surely eroding the rock benath it, creating new shapes and softening old.
(I am allowed to talk in a pretensious way, a ‘male’ way/breifly i wonder, what will I amount to?/the anxiety overtakes me for a second)
women talking
01/25/2023
what makes something cinematic…
and here i begin to doubt my own words
they falter because i stop believing in them as i create them
what make something cinematic is the artful manipulation of coincidence. the kind that rarely happens in real life and when it does, it feels magical. you feel as though you’ve seen something you should not have. a peak behind some universal curtain
“what follows is an act of female imagination” – Women Talking
we wrest the narrative from our attackers hands
why?
always ready
what am i hoping to no longer be in pain for? what fear fuels me now?
two facets:
- i need to get back up so you can knock me down again, I need to ability to withstand, to continue to withstand, this one is rooted in the past
- i want to enjoy life, the tightening in my neck impedes me, rooted in past and present
a contradiction, a paradox: to enjoy the moment, you must release the desire to create a perfect one
how do we deal with our changing opinions of others? am I still hedging against my fear of being hurt
I speak in generalities now, specifics elude me. so much fear surrounds them. baseless fear, I believe.
- being in pain sucks.
Nihilistic Porcupine 