the philosopher’s agenda 3

“I just can’t pretend anymore,” he cried, turning back to confront her with the lines of anguish on his brow. She looked at him and stepped slowly out onto the deck; her face as usual held no clue to the inner tumult of emotion ardently felt.

“Maybe we don’t have to pretend.”

Alfie held his breath, bated, in his throat, afraid a stray exhale would blow away the possibility it had suddenly occurred to him to hope for. His hand drifted outward in tenuous question. But it remained as far away from her waist as it was from his own. He knew with a stinging realization that if her words did not mean what he hoped, he would cry, and he would cry in front of her.

With stiff face, Rosemary answered the delicate question, catching his wrist and pulling it slowly to her waist. So complete was his disbelief that he required similar encouragement to rest his other hand opposite the first.

Slowly and ritualistically, Aflie bent his head and kissed on the forehead a girl he had admired for months, if not years.

In slow and trembling voice he asked, “How was that?” Rosemary could not keep a smile from shifting visibly under the carefully kept mask of her face.

“Better than Alchemy.” And with similar ritual, the alchemist kissed Alfie gently on the corner of his jaw. He shivered unexpectedly, the combination of excitement and disbelief traveling violently through him.

Rosemary leaned closer and her whisper was softer. “How was that?” Alfie closed his eyes, pressing his chin into the hand she had rested on his neck.

“Better than sex.”

quarantine 4

Indigo walked down the hallway in jeans and his white undershirt. He walked quickly and reluctantly, like he had somewhere to be but was afraid to go there. His journey brought him to one particular stainless steel door. He pressed the key tightly into his palm.

What was he doing? He was a guard, not a caretaker. The broken arm shouldn’t
bother him, nor should the damage done by Jeremias’s angry fists. He’d seen beatings before.

Why should this girl be different?

The teeth of the key left bite-marks in his shaking hands, and he looked at the door
for moments longer before he unlocked it. The little snake lifted her head in curiosity like she had not been asleep, and maybe she hadn’t. She blinked and pinched her eyebrows together. Even Indigo had to admit; he was strange company for the middle of the night in a
room that looked too much like a prison cell to be anything else.

The groundcrawler sat up and swung her legs off the twin-sized cot that passed as a bed. She was ready, ready to get up, ready to attack.

What do you want? She snapped with her eyes. Indigo shook his head and held out a condom.

“I have an offer for you.”

That little snake looked at the small shiny package for longer than Indigo wanted to
hold it out, but still he held his offering, and still she stared.

Indigo watched her face closely for any sign of change. Her eyes were wide, as
always, but they didn’t change. But her chin seemed to bob up and down in a slow, imperceptible nod. Finally she nodded, curtly and certainly. Indigo nodded back.

“Good.” And together they unceremoniously pulled off their pants and their underwear. They kept their shirts on and their voices low. Although it wouldn’t have mattered anyway; those walls were meant to keep in any sound no matter how piercing and painful. Indigo hoped that these sounds would not be painful. With just as little
ceremony, he rolled the condom on his erect penis, and looked at the snake expectantly.

She nodded, and it began. There was just as little prelude as there was ceremony. It was not long before Indigo was on top of the groundcrawler and then, in her.

Naja watched and felt, almost impassively. It hurt a little at first, but then it felt good.

He waited for her to orgasm, then withdrew, tied the condom, and threw it into the trashcan where they had thrown her tooth earlier that day.

Without invitation, he laid down next to this…snake. They were both breathing
heavy and neither looked at the other as they laid, almost touching, on the twin-sized excuse for a bed. Their breathing had quieted when Indigo finally looked at her.

“Do you ever talk?” he asked. She looked back at him. Their noses were barely
inches apart.

“I don’t talk to guards,” she answered, her voice soft and smooth. Indigo raised his eyebrows.

“Am I not a guard?”

“Not right now,” she smirked with a small, soft laugh. Indigo let the silence hang before he turned back and asked another question.

“What’s your name?” The snake sighed.

“Just my genus and species: Naja sumatrana. People call me Naja.” Indigo watched her closely.

“But not guards.” Naja gave him a long cold hard look.

“Guards aren’t people.”

Indigo didn’t answer. He closed his eyes and breathed deep. Naja looked up at the
ceiling, wondering, but not really caring, how he took that comment. He finally turned back to her, with his body, not just with his head, and slid his fingers up her jawbone. He looked into her sharp brown eyes.

“Well, Naja,” he started softly, “snake or not, you’re quite something.” Naja pulled
herself closer and looked back at his eyes.

“What does that mean, Indigo?” He pulled back, surprised that she knew his name, but he looked back into her eyes and they pulled him forward.

“It means, Naja, that, guard or not, I regard you very highly.” Their eyes shared one solid, heavy-breathing moment. She didn’t expect what was coming, but she knew. He pulled her neck closer to him and their lips met. And Naja shared with this human guard a moment only her cheek had shared with a thin pair of lips, somewhere, buried deep in days when magnolia trees didn’t bring a knot to her throat.

But this moment was heavier, more alive. This moment belonged in reality and would not be disappointed because it would never, could never exist outside of this room.

there are monsters in small places 6

It’s important to keep in mind that sirens are not beautiful. They don’t even sing beautifully. They just know the right notes to get you to throw yourself into them. They know how to convince you that the world’s a shit show and that everything will be okay, just come to them, they know how to make it better, just sink yourself and they’ll save you.

Sirens are almost never beautiful, and the sirens of Brightview are no different. Hazel sees them before anyone else

“Look, Ray,” she brags, “sea monsters.” Ray gets the balance back in his tottering legs and puts his hand on his hips.

“Those are sirens,” he shows off. Hazel puts her hands on her hips too. “Yeah? Then how come they aren’t singing?”

there are monsters in small places 5

Ezrah as long as he had lived in Brightview had never seen the top of Deadman’s Boulder – even though Evander would scramble to the top ever since he was seven and Ezrah was three, even though ever since then Evander would sneer down at Ezrah.

“Coming up?” Ezrah would not respond.

“What are you, scared? Do you think there are…monsters up here?” Ezrah still thought there were monsters under his bed, and even though Evander didn’t think that, Ezrah would sleep much better once the monsters decided to move out.

“Monsters?” Ezrah whispered. Thinking exactly of the variety that lived under his bed.

“Oh, yes,” Evander grinned, “big scary ones.” His cruelness made Ezrah feel alone. “Are you gonna come up or are you gonna be a sissy?” Ezrah shook his head and shrank back to be alone somewhere else, every time really convinced that there were monsters up there, big scary ones.

That’s why Ezrah was immediately jealous when he found Ros at the top of Deadman’s Boulder only three weeks since she had come to Brightview. The edge of his voice cut towards her through the wind.

“What are you doing up there? You know there are monsters,” he snapped. “Big scary ones,” he added, only half convinced of it himself. Ros did not get angry at him. She was silent like she had joined the soft green moss lining this rock.

“No there’s not,” she responded after being moss for a long time. “There are sirens.” Ezrah was about to start high school and had long since stopped believing that there were monsters hiding in the jagged peaks, but he had never considered sirens, and he thought had heard something from the peak of the boulder that he could not see. “Come see,” Ros invited. Ezrah paused with his foot on a pedal-like out hang for a second he heard Evander instead of her. “Are you coming?” she asked and the moment broke like water over the boulder.